Do we really need anymore reality TV shows?

Looks like the latest abomination from the TV garbage dump is a reality show starring Hulk Hogan's family titled Hogan Knows Best. Hulk Hogan "wrestles with the everday struggles" of raising a family.



But my question is, does anybody remember "Thunder in Paradise?" Now that was an awesome show and a movie. A la Knight Rider, Hulk Hogan is an ex-Navy SEAL who solves crimes with a superboat christened "Thunder."



One TV episode involves animal poachers who catch a wild boy in their net. The boy was apparently raised by wolves. Hulk Hogan finds the boy, takes him home, and attempts to protect him from the scientists who want to study him.

Visit this site for some great thoughts and insight on "Thunder in Paradise."

Little blog bits for Monday

As of this Friday, several new laws will take effect in Georgia, including the more fascinating ones of:
1. Catching catfish for dinner with your bare hands in a Georgia stream or "noodling" will be legal.
2. The new official state amphibian will be the green tree frog. (I've never seen one here in my life. Maybe it exists in Americus, GA.)
3. Sudafed and similar cold and sinus remedies cannot be sold over the counter in the state, in order to reduce the making of methamphetamines.
4. Fireworks - Georgians are now allowed to buy sparklers in the state. (Yay, just in time for the 4th.)
If you have any good ones from your state, please comment.

Here's a great link poking fun at the latest Tom Cruise-Katie Holmes celebrity vomit bucket. It shows the famed "mercy" move that Tom Cruise inflicted on Oprah Winfrey, but in this case, he electrocutes her.

Politicians = Pussies

I don't know if you've seen the latest squabble between Republicans and Democrats over Presidential adviser Karl Rove's statement that liberals are soft on terrorism and Sen. Dick Durbin's (D-Ill.) comparison of Gitmo to Hitler, Stalin, and Pol Pot, but it always amuses me when these politicians demand "apologies." What a bunch of pussies. Hey, we're not in Great Britain anymore, where you just get the slap of a glove. These guys should go to town on each other No-Holds Barred. I suggest a 6-man cage match in the Oval Office to include Karl Rove, Dick Durbin, Republican National Committee chairman Ken Mehlman, the executive director of MoveOn.org Eli Pariser, White House press secretary Scott McClellan, and Sen. Charles Schumer (D-NY). They have 5 minutes to get any weapon out of their office, be it a stapler, the Federal Register, or an intern, to use inside the cage. The last man standing, which should be either a Republican or a Democrat, would then settle the issue, and Congress can then get back to worrying about Social Security.

Must...resuscitate...blog.

Whew! It's been one busy week, but this blog is not kaput just yet. Squirrels will never run extinct and neither will this blog. As Charleton Heston once said, "You'll have to pry my squirrel from my cold dead hands!" I'm glad to see that my only 2 readers are die-hard readers. You guys rule! I hope you're as die-hard as those extreme fighting dudes, because those dudes are like, die-hard and extreme, you know?

Well, not much excitement has been happening this week, except being extremely busy at work, but I did come across this most funny website that has sketchy book covers from 50's and 60's pulp fiction novels. http://community.middlebury.edu/~mobrien/covers/. What I find astonishing is that this nether-region stuff existed back then. But then of course, I am from Jackson, Mississippi. Some of my favorite ones are: "Matador of Shame," "Hot Dam (yes, spelled Dam)," and "The Vengeance of She."

Not that you haven't gotten enough of the Michael Jackson trial, but I found some really funny stuff on the subject as of late:
The Onion headline: "Enchanted By Own Innocence, Michael Jackson Molests Self"
And my favorite headline, which was right from the AP: "Attorney Says Jackson Won't Share His Bedroom With Children Again."
Okay, correct me if I'm wrong here, but does that statement not implicate your client at all? I guess Jacko, though, can still drink wine and watch porn movies with children.

Happy Flag Day!

My friend Matt and I have this long-running joke about Flag Day. It all started when his shy, somewhat socially-inept friend and roommate Mike was alone in their house with another roommate’s attractive girlfriend. It happened to be Valentine’s Day, and she was sitting on the couch next to Mike. Well, after a bit of silence, Mike proceeds to say “(Sigh) Another Valentine’s Day, all alone.” And then looks over at the girl forlornly. From that day on, both Matt and I, send a nice greeting to each other every Flag Day, with the simple statement “SIGH! Another Flag Day all alone……”

A Tribute to Steve Perry

Because I like to please the requests of my readers (insert shameless shilling right here), I've decided to write a blog on Steve Perry, the ex-lead singer of the great American rock band Journey. Cheesy ballad writing and mullet hairdos aside, I was actually a big fan of Journey in Junior High. I blame my sister however, for introducing me to them. My favorite albums were Infinity, Escape, and Frontiers, and I enjoyed all of their music videos, especially "Faithfully," about the trials and tribulations of touring on the road. I was so into Journey, that at one time I learned how to play "Open Arms" on the piano, and practiced singing the song without looking at the keys and facing the parlor. I revisited my Journey roots by singing "Don't Stop Believin'" a few years ago in a duet at karaoke. The crowd loved us so much that they were yelling "Sing louder!" Although Steve Perry gets most of the props for Journey, let's not forget about Neal Schon, that wacky guitar virtuoso and Jonathan Cain, the main writer for most of their songs.



I gotta hand it to Journey, they are one of the greatest bands to ever come out of San Francisco.

Mmmmm, Fried Blog.

Last night, I went over to Mulligan's, a local Atlanta bar, to watch the Jay Leno show with some friends. Jay Leno was showcasing Mulligan's specialty dish - The Hamdog. The oil-soaked incarnate is a hot dog wrapped by a beef patty that's deep fried, covered with chili, cheese, and onions and served on a hoagie bun. It's then topped with a fried egg and two fistfuls of fries. They even have an annual Hamdog eating contest. I actually saw one guy try to eat one of those, and about halfway through, I think he was seeing double. You could already see the cholesterol attacking his brain stem. Not to be outdone, Mulligan's also serves the Luther Burger, a bacon-cheeseburger served on a Krispy Kreme doughnut bun, and Fried Twinkies. I actually had a Fried Twinkie there, and it's pretty damn good. Although, I would recommend only eating one a year. As far as the bar is concerned, Mulligan's is pretty much a dive bar. They occasionally have raucous cacophonic bands that play while you're trying to shoot pool, a decent jukebox selection, and a sunken bar. Yes, it's weird to be ordering a drink looking down on top of the bartender's hair. Mulligan's patrons are a little shady, but the staff is very nice, and overall, it's a good, non-pretentious bar to visit after hours.

Great Medical Terms

Courtesy of The New England Journal of Medicine, my sister the nurse, and myself:
1. supraventricular tachycardia
2. fecal impaction
3. myocardial infarction
4. venous thromboembolism
5. areola

"That doll is evil, I tells ya. Evil! Eeeeviiilllll!"

One of my favorite characters on The Simpsons is Grandpa Abe Simpson, because of his long-winded, senile soliloquies. He is the only character that allows the writers to ramble on and use much forgotten colloquial words from the pre-WWII days. One of my favorite Grandpa monologues is in the episode where Homer becomes a union boss.

Mr. Burns: Smithers, get me some strikebreakers, the kind they had in the 30's.

Abe Simpson: We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell them stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe. So, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. 'Give me five bees for a quarter, you'd say.' Now, where were we? Oh, yeah, the important thing was, that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...

A long time ago in a blog far, far away...

Well, I saw Star Wars last night. Not too shabby, and much better than the last two (which isn't saying much). The high points: more special effects and only one scene of Jar-Jar Binks (that zany rastafarian fish face). The low points: the usual cheesy Lucas dialogue and overzealous use of Yoda and his reverse polish noun-verb transpositions. Yoda is the English language version of an HP calculator. Yoda-speak, I am so annoyed with. I think Yoda would've been much better had he been alot more laid back:



Also, during the entire movie, I couldn't help but sing to myself:

Luke, be a Jedi tonight!
Just be a Jedi tonight!
Do it for Yoda, while we serve our guests a soda.
Uh, and do it for Chewie and the Ewoks,
and all the other puppets...
Luke, be a Jedi tonight!

The Birth of a Blog

Ahh yes, tree rats. Nature's most feared garden pest. But they're so cute you say. Yes, cute, and equally deadly. But what if you could somehow capture these rodents and train them to be your soldiers, your entertainers, your mechanic? Only time will tell, when we can control these uncivilized beasts. In the meantime, I bring you Squirrel Corral......